If You Don't Come Back, I Understand

Move #11: Los Angeles, CA to Nashville, TN

Several years ago, our family made a big cross-country move from Los Angeles, California to Nashville, Tennessee. To date, we have moved thirteen times and it seems that with every move we have more children, more pets and more stuff. The challenge with this move was that it fell in the dead of winter. We had safely made the drive across the country through rain, sleet and snow with our five children, packed minivan and pet bunny. We were now camping out at an extended stay hotel until our home was ready. After eating near lethal doses of fast food and living out of various hotels for over one month everyone in the family (including the bunny) had frazzled nerves, quick tempers and testy emotions. Remember this was one hotel room, 7 people, a bunny, for 30 days.

One restaurant experience during our trip stands out among the rest. Your family has probably never had this kind of experience. Our three boys were full of energy bouncing up and down in the restaurant booth (one was even hanging from my husband’s neck) when our one year old conveniently had a stinky diaper. My husband, Gregg, handed me the keys and as I ventured out into the icy cold to scrounge the floor of our car for a diaper he calmly said to me, “If you don’t come back, I understand.

In the moment, we were both second-guessing our decision to uproot our family from a comfortable house, stable job and close friends to venture into this unknown territory of big belt buckles and country music. This wasn’t what we had signed up for. This picture didn’t look as glamorous as we thought it would. It would have been easy to give up. It was difficult. Painful. Uncomfortable. Remember: one hotel room, 7 people, a bunny, for 30 days.

As a little girl, I remember having lofty aspirations and dreams of what I would some day become. Big plans to change the world. High hopes for what God would some day use me to accomplish. What had happened? Here I was in the middle of a snowy parking lot in an unfamiliar town searching through my incredibly messy minivan for a clean diaper. What happened to my plans to be different, to make a difference?

Here’s what I learned:

- Don’t quit. When circumstances become difficult, the temptation is to give up and focus on the wrong things. God desires for us to focus on him.

- God is able to provide meaning in even the mundane seasons of our life.

- The painful, difficult seasons are opportunities for God to do a special work in our lives and to draw us closer to him.

You Can Cry Now

Move #7: from Austin, TX to San Diego, CA

Many years ago, when we lived in Texas, Gregg and I had the exciting opportunity to buy and build a home. Our first home. A new home. Brand new.

With the paint on the walls barely dry, we began to feel God’s tugging on our hearts once again. We’d felt that tug before. It was God beginning to pull us into something new. Only months after moving into this cute little home in the Austin suburbs, we sold it, packed all of our stuff and moved our family (at the time, only four of us) to San Diego to help with another church plant.

We had found a home to rent in San Diego. Hadn’t seen it yet. But from everything the owner was describing, it sounded beautiful. Large double doors, a huge backyard, newly remodeled bathrooms, ceramic tile throughout the house. . . We thought we had scored!

After the long cross-country drive, with anticipation we pulled up to our new home.

Immediately, Gregg turned to me and said, “It’s ok, you can cry now.”

This home that had sounded so good, was actually the eyesore of the neighborhood. Interestingly, everything the owner had told us about the home was true!

Gregg proceeded to tell me to not even bother unpacking, because we weren’t going to stay. Funny thing, we lived there for three years—the longest to date that we’ve lived anywhere.

What I learned:

-Just because something sounds good, doesn’t mean it is.

-Change is difficult, no matter how welcome it may be. Believe it or not, when the time came to leave that home, it was difficult because we had made so many memories there.

-God uses change in our lives to grow us, stretch us and prepare us in ways that He just can’t when we’re comfortable.

On the Move

This Friday, Gregg and I will celebrate 16 years of marriage. In the 16 years we’ve been married, we have had five children and moved 13 times. Then, it seems fitting that we would celebrate our anniversary week with a new baby and another move.

No, I’m not pregnant. We just bought a puppy. And while our family is not moving this weekend, our church is. In planning for the January rebirthing of our church, we are relocating our Sunday services from Dole Cannery to Kahala Elementary. Closer to the University, and in a community where families live, work and do life.

So, I’ll be dedicating the next few of my entries to some of our more memorable moving experiences. Some happy, some sad, all painfully true.

Gotta go. Time to take our new baby to the vet. Then it’s off to the Children’s hospital so my bigger baby, Brandon, can have his cast removed.

Just Swing!

This summer, our schedule was filled with baseball. Two of our boys, Jordan and Justin, played on two different teams. Many of our evenings were spent sitting in lawn chairs, snacking on sunflower seeds while we cheered our Tigers and Yankees to victory.

During Justin’s last time at bat for the season, he found himself with 3 balls and 2 strikes. Last pitch. Last opportunity for the season. As the final pitch made its way across the plate, Justin watched it pass by him into the catcher’s mitt. Strike 3. He was out.

Gregg was visibly frustrated. But his frustration wasn’t because Justin had struck out; it was because he didn’t swing. He watched a perfectly good pitch fly by him and missed his last opportunity of the season to get another hit.

It made me think. How often do I allow indecision, fear and insecurity to paralyze me? How often do I let opportunities to be used by God fly by me? And in my fear of failing, I fail to accomplish anything.

I want more. I want to live differently. I want to step out, seize opportunities, and be ready to swing when the right pitch is thrown.