Pinocchio and a Lesson in Forgiveness

Last week, during our trip to Southern California, we took the children to Disneyland. It was a great time experiencing Disney Joy through the eyes of our children. Our last trip was three years ago to Disney World in Orlando. Here's a blog I wrote following our Orlando trip three years ago: 


After six long years, Brandon has finally forgiven Pinocchio. You're probably wondering, “What heinous act could Pinocchio possibly have committed to produce SIX years of hostility in Brandon?”

During a trip to Disneyland many years ago, Pinocchio took Brandon’s blankie. No, he didn’t steal it. There was nothing malicious about it. Pinocchio simply borrowed it, admired it, cuddled with it for a few seconds and returned it. However, to three-year-old Brandon, Pinocchio broke the cardinal toddler rule: Never touch the blanket of a three-year-old! This was a direct infringement on his personal space and property and for six years he was resolute in his determination to not let it go.

This summer, while on our trip to Disney World, Brandon decided that in was about time to end his six-year feud with the wooden boy and forgive Pinocchio. Wouldn’t you know that amidst the thousands of people at the Magic Kingdom, amidst all of the characters to meet, Pinocchio was the first saw upon entering the park. After waiting patiently in line, Brandon said his peace to Pinocchio, hugged him and made amends. 

It’s funny how momentary interactions, like Brandon’s incident with Pinocchio many years ago, have the potential to produce such hurt and hostility within us. God gives us a choice as to how we will respond to them. In reflecting on this little incident, this is what I learned:

In the Bible there is a man named Lamech, who in Genesis 4:23-24, vows vengeance seventy-seven times on all who dare to offend him. With every grudge, with every grievance, Lamech chose to get even.

In Matthew 18:21-22, Jesus offers us a different way to choose to live. He tells his disciples to extend forgiveness seventy-seven times. Throughout the Bible, Jesus continually seeks after the restoration and reconciliation of relationships. Firstly, the restoration of man’s relationship with God; then, whenever possible, the restoration of our relationships with one another.

I want my life to resemble the way of Jesus, not the lifestyle of Lamech. 

A Poisonous Fruit

Yesterday, we began a new series, Hostage. While God created us to live in freedom (Galatians 5:1), there are many things that seek to hold us captive. God desires for us to break free from these deadly things that hold us hostage and hinder us from living the life that God created us to enjoy.

Bitterness is one of them. Bitterness has a dangerous root that starts and grows within the soil of a wounded heart when hurt and offense haven’t been properly dealt with. It is a poisonous fruit that can destroy our relationships and our lives. 

From my own experience, I know that when I’ve been hurt, there is that sense that something has been taken from me. Bitterness says, “You owe me!”

The only way bitterness can be killed in our hearts is by processing our hurt, releasing it and making a choice to forgive. Forgiveness says, “You don’t owe me anymore!”

We had hurt and offended God. We owed him a debt that we could never repay. On the cross, Jesus canceled our debt and said, “You don’t owe me anymore.” He now asks for us to forgive others as He forgave us.

Louis Smedes, in The Art of Forgiving, wrote, “When we forgive, we set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner we set free is us.”

Holding on to our bitterness and anger doesn’t affect the person who hurt us, but it will hold us hostage and destroy our life. The shrapnel from our anger and bitterness will eventually seep out and wound those we love the most.

We find strength to forgive when we shift our focus from what others have done to us to what Christ has done for us.

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (Ephesians 4:31-32)

Mulligans

Yesterday, Gregg and I were able to break away from our routine for an afternoon of golf with some friends.

Now, playing golf is not something I get to do very often, and I don’t do it very well either. For some reason, when I hit the ball in one direction, it has the amazing ability to follow a completely different trajectory.

Because of this, I always get a little nervous before playing. What a relief to me, when on the first hole, my friend, Annie, said, “Would you like to take a mulligan? Go ahead, take a mulligan.”

In golf, a mulligan is a do-over. You get a fresh start. You don’t have to play your horrible shot that landed in someone’s backyard, you don’t even have to count it. It won’t be written on the final scorecard.

A mulligan is similar to what God offers to us, isn’t it? A fresh start. A clean slate. A do-over. Have you taken your mulligan?

“. . . he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. . . as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.” Psalm 103:10, 12)

Who Ate My Cookies?

For my mom’s birthday, I bought her a box of cookies from the Honolulu Cookie Company. These cookies are so good and they come nicely wrapped in a gift box.

Anyway, until I got around to sending them, I placed them in the refrigerator with a big sign, “Do not open!”

Last night Gregg and I went out for dinner and upon returning home, I noticed the box had been opened and cookies had been eaten! (Sorry, Mom.)

I began my search with the usual suspects . . . the children. After some probing, one child finally came forward and confessed to eating the cookies.

Why do confessions often turn into excuses?

“I ate the cookies, because I didn’t see the sign.” “I didn’t know I wasn’t suppose to eat the cookies.”

We often do the same thing, too. Don’t we?

As Gregg and I discussed this with our child, we mentioned that true confession involves taking responsibility for what you’ve done, not shifting the blame or making excuses for it.

John Ortberg, in his book The Life You’ve Always Wanted, makes a good point saying, “Confession means saying that somewhere in the mix was a choice, and the choice was made by us, and it does not need to be excused, explained, or even understood. The choice needs to be forgiven.”

So Mom, be looking for an opened, slightly eaten gift in the mail that came with an important life lesson for your grandchild.

What We Need the Most

In a few weeks, my youngest child, Jessica, will turn five. She’s busy planning her big day and has decided that what she really wants, what she really needs is a “muffin maker”. What Jessie thinks she really needs is an easy bake oven so she can cook for treats for everyone.

Most people, spend their entire lives pursuing what they think they really need, but neglect pursuing the one thing they need the most: forgiveness.

Last Sunday, Gregg talked about how God is generous with what we need the most. He invites us into an incredible relationship that is characterized by forgiveness, mercy, grace and unconditional acceptance.

Yet, He doesn’t stop there. God asks that we, too, be generous in forgiving others. This is tough because it’s sometimes easier to focus on what’s been done to us by others, rather than focusing on what’s been done for us by God.

We forgive others not because they deserve to be forgiven, but because we have been forgiven.

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32